One of the best songs on the album IMO
It’s only just begun.
I guess I just want to vent a little bit considering I haven’t used my tumblr in forever. So here goes,
My dog is getting old, she’s like 17 or 18 I can’t really remember to be honest and she’s been a troublemaker since day one. They never once trained her, and I was too much of a spastic kid growing up to focus on one thing (Such as training my dog) and really didn’t know how or what to do.
This being said she spent a lot of time peeing or pooping on the carpet in the house, which would usually be cleaned up by myself and then cleaned (Using a carpet cleaner, like a steamer) and usually would be because I was the only one that took the dog out because apparently being a teenager requires you and only you to take out the animal you never asked for. Well this went on for years, and just overall my dad being a huge ass hole to the dog. He would throw a shoe at the dog or be too aggressive with her (Would grab her leash and tug her hard. He’s like 6ft and 300lbs, when you tug on a leash too hard for a less then 65lb dog it hurts the dog.) Now being in college has really, I don’t know, I come back and things bother me. I couldn’t wait to leave to go to college because I wanted to get away from my folks.
But I come back and my dog is just getting older, and I realize all the abuse she’s been put through and just feel fucking awful. She never went hungry or thirsty, they constantly fed her or I made sure she ate over the years but the physical and emotional abuse she’s experienced over the years has really come crashing down on me.
I came back home for fall break this week, I happen to go back tomorrow but the dog is injured. She wrapped her leg in her leash (She’s stuck in the kitchen because she was never really potty trained so they keep her on a relatively short leash in the kitchen to avoid her using the carpet as a toilet) and it was pulled when my mom tried to untangle her leg. So they’re not sure what she did but she yelped and definitely hurt her leg because she wont put much pressure on it.
What ends up happening a few moments ago is my dad being a huge ass hole and he’s taking it out of the dog. He’s basically dragging her around and I tell him to not do that because the dog is fucking crippled as of right now. I feel as though a proper recount is in order:
Me: Could you not drag the dog around like that, you know she’s like messed up right?
Dad: You should mind your own business Dan, but out.
Me: No, you should really not do that you’re hurting the dog and you can’t just take your mood out on the dog because you feel like it.
Dad: I’m telling to mind your own business dan and don’t talk to me that way.
Me: Why are you being such a dick? (Mockingly)
Dad: You better watch the way you fucking talk to me!
Let it be noted that I kept a calm voice through this the entire time, since lets be honest, I’m coming down because being sober here would be a fucking nightmare. I actually handled it way better then if I were completely sober, I felt like I didn’t really care about what I said at this point. I truly just feel absolutely awful about my dog, even though she was never the best or friendly animal I would never want he to be mistreated and I feel like there’s nothing I can do.
The point of this is this shit isn’t over. He told me basically to watch what I said if I knew what was good for me. The kicker? He took out a $20,000 loan for my college Freshman year. You want to be a prick and fuck around? We remotely start to talk because we can both bitch about my mom, but you’re still the same fucking narcissistic douchebag that you usually are. I really don’t like that I got too close to you because it’s crazy to have to put my bullshit goggles back on and see you for who you are again.
Yea, keep it up dad. That loan isn’t going anywhere, and I don’t have to pay it because its your name!!! What a huge mistake to make! Enjoy the debt you suddenly acquired, I would have definitely paid that along with all of my other debt I have but since you want to fuck around, lets make it interesting. We’ll see how well you do with a sudden $20k of debt just tossed onto you.
It’s just super frustrating living here, I don’t know how I even function so god damn well. I’m so positive that anyone else would have just crumbled and died by now if they were in this same living situation.